New York has been voted the ugliest American city, not because of its architecture, but because of its people.
Just kidding. It’s because of its architecture. Probably.
Europe does things a little better, but not by much. There’s a building in London called The Walkie-Talkie, presumably due to its resemblance to a refrigerator.
So neither of these two major cities is wholly pretty. But I have to be fair. There’s not much to brag about in my home state of New Jersey, unless you count some oddly-shaped potholes.
When did we decide that metal behemoths that lacked light, ornaments, and access to nature were beautiful?
Me, I work in a concrete box. The nicest thing about my building is the door because it helps me leave.
If that thing wasn’t working, I’d definitely go out the window. At least, I’d try, if it wasn’t 4 inches tall.
But I do better than complain, complain, complain. I have a brilliant solution for our ugly building problem: imitate Japan.
That is, unleash a giant, radioactive lizard to knock down all the hideous skyscrapers, then build them back pretty.
Admittedly, I haven’t figured out how to prevent Godzilla from tearing through the nice buildings, or parks, or me.
And the radioactivity thing might be a problem. And it’d throw a devil of a wrench into public transport.
Okay, this plan isn’t very well thought out. But neither is New York City. So I’d say I and the Big Apple’s architects are right about equal.
There are also environmental concerns to consider. I’m a big fan of natural resources, like all-natural beef burgers, and constructing stylish buildings takes up a lot of them.
Copyright 2024 Alexandra Paskhaver, distributed exclusively by Cagle Cartoons newspaper syndicate.