“And when I die / and when I’m gone / there’ll be one child born, in this world / to carry on / to carry on.”
The song written by Laura Nyro and most famously performed by Blood, Sweat & Tears may have been overly optimistic.
According to the Wall Street Journal, the world is rapidly approaching a tipping point at which the birth rate won’t be enough to keep the population constant.
Climate-change prophets are probably jumping for joy (“Darn! I expelled more carbon dioxide. I should’ve settled for the wry smile!”), but demographics experts envision a multitude of problems in coming decades.
The economic impact of an aging population is obvious. With fewer consumers, who will maintain factory output by purchasing all the junk that keeps our landfills filled? All the messages we transmit into outer space in hopes of contacting aliens will have to include “We (heart) litterbugs!”
Nations will experience more and more difficulty meeting military enlistment goals. It’s like the Sixties slogan “Suppose they gave a war and nobody came – because they were all playing bingo.”
With fewer wage earners paying into Social Security, Medicare and pension funds, seniors will need to be increasingly inventive at making ends meet. (“Glad I still have my Daisy Red Ryder BB rifle. Them drones is good eatin’!”)
Don’t get me started on the inevitable theological dilemmas. (“How can I be holier than thou when there’s a shortage of ‘thous’?”)
Analysts also worry that having fewer siblings and cousins will leave future generations socially stunted. Well, in this case, AI can probably tell you all the same information as siblings and cousins. Just ask, “Who did Grandma really leave the heirloom jewelry to?” and get ready for an earful.
Copyright 2024 Danny Tyree, distributed by Cagle Cartoons newspaper syndicate.