Having raised three daughters, I’ve gained, in the words of Liam Neeson, “a very particular set of skills.” Unfortunately, none of these skills would be useful in the event of an international kidnapping.
Because two of our daughters (and some of our credit cards) are now in college and one is deep in the bowels of high school, I feel like an abandoned appliance that seemed pretty nifty at first, but the novelty quickly wore off. (Think – the Baby Yoda waffle iron.)
Below are a few girl-dad skills I no longer use much, but I think they deserve some recognition, maybe in my obituary.
1. I can style girl hair in various complex arrangements – especially the gymnastics-class high ponytail and the ballet-class bun.
2. I can efficiently wash and fold sports bras and women’s/girls’ underwear. (I still have trouble re-inserting the bra pad thingies.)
3. Speaking of underwear, I know that Victoria’s Secret/PINK stores have additional inventory in the “secret drawers” (see what I did there?) under the display tables.
4. I can navigate the feminine product aisle at Target with confidence and expertise.
5. I no longer have to ask for directions in Ulta.
6. I’m aware that “simpin” is bad and “rizz” is good – I think.
7. I can spot a fake Stanley cup a mile away.
8. I know the locations and prices of most reputable nail salons in the area.
9. I know how to make a teenage boy nervous just by looking him in the eye, shaking his hand and smiling.
Copyright 2024 Jase Graves distributed exclusively by Cagle Cartoons newspaper syndicate.